Yes, I am enjoying the Olympics. I'm cheering for Canadians, I'm moved by the emotional moments, I like seeing all the flags waving. There... full disclosure.
This is not to say I am blind. Unlike most of the Canadian commentators! (Surely there is an extra syllable in that word. What would be the difference between a commentator and a commentor? I digress).
It is hard not to notice what they appear not to notice.
Consider the opening ceremonies, where a great many of the singers were clearly lipsynching, and doing so badly. The gold for worst lip syncher has to go to the usually solid Bryan Adams; silver to Nellie Furtado, his duet partner. Bronze? Well, there's a wide selection of candidates, but I'd give it to whoever decided not to trust Measha Brueggergosman, an excellent singer who should have been allowed to go live.
On the other hand, k.d. lang did sing live, and brilliantly. Wow! So it could be done.
It was cute, in an anxious sort of way, when the five torch lighters remained at attention for what was clearly way too long, while the announcers didn't acknowledge that something had gone wrong for what felt like an hour and a half.
On the other hand, the commentators clearly did notice, but declined to comment on, one of the most appalling moments in Canadian sportscasting, as -- while the American feed was showing beautiful Canadian vistas, and basically reporting wonderful things about us -- we were showing pre-Olympic scenes of apparently teenage girls in hot tubs, and then -- for the gold -- other apparently teenage girls about to do body shots off some hot guy.
That's what we're best known for... elegance and class.
I'm sure we all agree that the gold for most hackneyed phrase has to go jointly to the 1,275 broadcasters who mouthed the words "... has never won gold on Canadian soil". My goodness.
Speaking of all things Canadian, you gotta wonder who arranged that funereal tempo for our national anthem at the opening ceremonies. O Canada! indeed. It took longer to finish the song that it did to complete the Canadian Pacific Railway.
I don't recall hearing any commentator point out that although we are an officially bilingual country, it was not clear which second language the VANOC head was speaking in when he fell out of English and into what one can only assume was an attempt at French.
Vancouver has been swarming with people from all over the world, for months. Could John Furlong not have found someone to tell him that "una kip" is not how you pronounce the phrase meaning "a team" in French? Or is Una Kip a Finnish snowboarder? It's unclear.
And then there's a second mystery surrounding the clearly talented and committed Mr. Furlong... and again, nobody has pointed it out. When he was addressing the world at the opening ceremony (in English; we'll let the failed attempt at French go, now), he had a clear, if wooden, Canadian accent.
But when they showed the pre-recorded features about him, Furlong has an undeniable Irish lilt. Hey -- maybe they have spirited away the real Furlong and replaced him with a clone. It may be a North Korean plot. Stay tuned.
Speaking of staying tuned -- this is not the first time I have watched figure skating. And therefore, it is not the first time I have been utterly baffled by the judging. Is there any "sport" where the judging is more opaque?
People fell down, and won. They fell twice, and scored well. They skated beautifully, and came in seventh or 15th. And nobody said, "What the....??" Does everybody except me understand this? Do the cumulative scores of the last 12 years figure in? It's as though the Canadian hockey team, for instance, won 3-2 in the gold match, but gold is awarded to the US anyway, because the judges... well, because they can.
There. The gold in being a curmudgeon goes to Knowles. Let the Games continue.
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Yes, we are Canadian and we must apologize for that. We are the only country in the world where things go wrong in opening ceremonies, and the only nation that would ever consider lip synching at a major event. We must always apologize to the world for our shortcomings, because, well we are Canadians and apologizing is what we do best.
ReplyDeletePaul, you make good points, but why not talk about the beauty of the opening ceremonies, as least as much as the faux pas (did I get my French right?) The group of distinguished Canadians that carried in the Olympic flag, to me represented our country well, yet constantly I hear this one shouldn't have been there, this one should have lit the cauldron instead, and on and on and on. I sometimes think that we as Canadians look forward to screw ups so we can take credit and apologize again.
A few slips aside, the Opening Ceremonies were great, and we should be proud of our mountains and lakes and trees and kids doing body shots because we live in a place where they are free to do so.
No apologies here - it's great to be Canadian and the games are outstanding!!
Oh and on that figure skating thing, yeah it does seem rather stra......whoops I almost apologized. It is what it is, they are all great athletes and we and they should be happy that they have the opportunity to be on a world stage to show their God given athletic abilities. Who wins, who loses, who gets shafted by the judges (I may just be Canadian) shouldn't matter. The grace and beauty of the competition should be foremost.