Monday, May 31, 2010

Digiquette, or e-manners

There must be a word for it, somewhere out in cyberspace. Digiquette, perhaps? E-manners?
I'm referring, of course, to the proper way to conduct email and other digital communication. This is all predicated on the possibility that there is such a proper way which, of late, one would be hard-pressed to demonstrate in any tangible sense.
Perhaps you have noticed this, too, the lack of etiquette among email correspondents. Or is it just my old-fashioned, curmudgeonly spirit shining brightly through, yet again?
F'rinstance, I notice that there is a significant decline in email responses. You send off an email to a friend, asking a question or simply sharing some information. In response you get... nothing.
This always leaves me wondering if they got the doggone thing. Email is, computer technology notwithstanding, an imprecise science. So now, since they have not responded, what do you do? Email again? Assume their lack of response indicates a negative reply, or total lack of interest? What?
There is no code of cyber conduct to tell you (or them, for that matter), how to communicate effectively via email.
That's digiquette problem number one. Problem number two arises, I believe, from the increasing use of tiny little screens upon which to read less than tiny messages. Maybe, you, too, have sent an email raising two or more questions. Almost invariably, the very prompt response (which often indicates someone in the thralls of IPhone addiction) deals only with your first question.
In other words, with whatever immediate issue arose upon their tiny little screen. They read the first sentence or two, answered you, and erased the evidence, utterly unaware that you not only asked if the invitation for tonight was still on, but also where you were meeting, at what time, and should you bring a watermelon.
Crucial information, left wanting.
These are, in fact, pretty simple examples of the etiquette challenges presented by communicating in cyber space. Here are some other conundrums which have no currently agreed upon answers:
* What do you do when someone skypes you, and you don't want to talk? Their computer has already told them you are on line.
* Speaking of Skype, what do you do when that video link is indicated, and you are sitting at your computer in your underwear? Nobody wants to see that.
* How do you politely end a computer correspondence with an inveterate responder ­ you know, the folks who simply have to reply to every email. Do you just quit answering when everything important has been said? Does that put you in the category noted early in this column ­ the people who don't reply, and thus leave you in the dark?
* How do you reject a friend request on Facebook, without appearing to be unkind? But then there is the related digiquette no-no of randomly friending people.
* Diverging from etiquette to grammar for a moment, I know "befriending" is a recognized word of long-standing, but "friending"? Really? Let alone its
opposite, "unfriending". Which I did, last week, and I have felt guilty ever since.
All of this talk about proper online manners leaves me feeling confused. But that's not as bad as the way I felt last week, when our modem failed, and I could not get on line for almost 24 hours.
Speaking of addictions. Perhaps I need to seek help. I'll look it up, on line.

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